Sunday, 20 March 2011

Asian American & British Chinese Stereotypes - Which Asian are you?

An 'urban slang' glossary of Asian American Youths, caricatures stereotypes
Slightly dated, but still relevant and can be tweaked to apply to the British Chinese Community, although comparatively, there is considerably less Oriental cultural diversity in the UK. Still, take a look at the list, which Asian are you?

Young Asians come in many forms. It is sometimes possible to be a combination of 2 or more.

Your significant other is not Asian and never has been.
You have few Asian friends, if any.
You are embarrassed at family events because you cannot speak your language and everyone has to switch to English to communicate with you.
You have no idea that the other types of Asians on this list even exist.
You think Hello Kitty is dumb and do not know what Sanrio is.
You are the only Asian on this list that does not know what Bubble Tea is.
You drive a Ford or some other domestic car and if you drive a Honda, it is stock.

Asian-American  British Chinese:
You claim yourself as Asian, but real Asians think you're whitewashed and non-Asians see you as a foreigner. You fit in nowhere.
You have heard of Bubble Tea but have never actually had any.
You are confused about your cultural identity and express this frustration through spoken word performances at your college.
You read A. magazine and think it's great.
You do not know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, s7even, or Kangta are.
You are only vaguely aware of the other Asians below.

YAP (YOung Asian Professional)
You are in one of these professions:
a) Medicine/ Pharmaceutical
b) Engineering
c) Finance
d) Investment Banking
e) Accounting
-You go find fellow YAPs and meet up on Thursday nights
-You did exactly what your parents wanted you to do and as a result your life is hella boring
-Your parents always talk to their friends and relatives about how much money you make. If they don;t then you're a disappointment.

Fob (Fresh Off the Boat):You were not born in America  UK.
You know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, s7even, and Kangta are. In fact, you have seen them in concert recently.
You speak your native language fluently and so do all your friends.
You do not have any non-Asian friends.
Your parents do not speak any English.
When you speak English, you like to make everything plural.
You get extremely good grades in school.
You cannot dance.
Your fashion sense comes from whatever country you're from and you incorporate nothing from western fashion into your wardrobe.

Your command of the English language is minimal and you don't care.
You like dim sum chicken feet.
You do not own a single CD, VCD, Video game, or DVD that isn't bootlegged.
Your only hangout is Chinatown.
All the lights in your house are fluorescent.
You dry your clothes outside your window.
You need a haircut.
You either smell like cigarettes or food.

You are an Asian-British or Twinkie/Banana who has recently "awoken".
You have a newly found fetish of Asian girls/boys.
You have taken the Asian Studies course at college.
You are trying to learn as much as possible about your culture to make up for your lifetime of trying to be white.

Gangsta Fob:
If you are lucky, you will grow to become Fobulous Gangsta Fob.
You have shot another Asian.
Your favorite hangout is a pool hall.
When you talk, you sound like a cross between a Fob and an urban black kid.
Your hair looks silly, but no one will tell you because you'll shoot them.
You have a serious gambling problem.
You are a Rice-boy, but your mods are cheap and are never painted to match the rest of your car.
No one tells you your rice ride looks cheap because you'll shoot them.
You want to have a Tab girlfriend.

Tab (Trendy Asian B*tch):
You shop at A/X, Bebe, Banana Republic and Club Monaco. (sorry cannot find the British euivalent)
You only wear black and will occasionally wear white to "mix it up".
You do not weigh more than 105 lbs.
You have never paid for dinner at a restaurant in your life.
Platform heels are your favorite.
You are a makeup expert, in fact, you appear completely flawless.
You do not smile in public.
You are the object of desire of all Asian men and you know it.
You smoke.
Your cell phone is completely customized.
On the inside flip of your cell phone is a sticker pic of you and your man.
Somewhere in your purse is a Sanrio item.
You only date Asian and will only date a boy with a nice car.
You are often seen with Rice-boys.
You never travel alone. You are either in the company of other Tabs or your Rice-boy boyfriend.

Hoochie Tab: You are an import car model.
Your boobs are not real.
There are naked pictures of you floating around on the internet somewhere.
Stiletto heels are your favorite.
Your role models are Francine Dee and Kaila Yu  or Tila Nguyen (I think they are more 'famous' in America)
Your boyfriend is a Gangsta Fob.
You cheat on your boyfriend.
Unlike most Asians, you do not do well in school.

Rice-Boy:You drive an Asian import. Usually a Honda or Acura.
Your souped up car (known as a Rice-ride or Rice-rocket) is unrecognizable from it's original stock form.
Your exhaust pipe is big enough for your head to fit in.
The spoiler on your car looks like it was made by Boeing.
The interior of your car also looks like it was designed by Boeing.
You always drive like you are racing someone.
You are not afraid of dying in a crash, but you are afraid of speed bumps and parking lot on-ramps.
The only other person besides yourself who can sit in your car is your 105 lbs Tab girlfriend. If anyone else sits in your car, the entire bottom of it will be touching the ground.
Even though your car is a Honda, it goes faster and is worth more than a Lotus Esprit.
If you drive a Civic, your dream car is a Supra. If you drive a Supra, your dream car is a Skyline (which you can never have).

You speak perfect English and you are fluent in your native language.
You have Asian friends as well as non-Asian friends.
You listen to Asian pop as well as American music.
You are equally aware of both popular American culture and Asian pop culture.
You are a good dancer.
You date Asian by choice even though you could rock the opposite sex of any other race.
You are a good designer and have superior HTML skills.
You have an Apt107 page AND an AA page and the guest books in both are packed.
For you, FOB stands for Fabulous Oriental Being.
You have lots of Asian pride.


  1. Fobulous! That's a new one, never heard of it. Ok that's me. I dislike labels, but I could check all of the above except that "apt107" and AA page one.
    Let's see I'm neither FOB nor ABC, neither am I great in math. In fact I was a Fine Arts major.
    I love speaking my dialect/langauge (Shanghainese) and am fluent (can speak some Mandarin and Cantonese too). Growing up it was like a secret language. Even the Chinese around me didn't understand it because they all spoke Mandarin, Toisan or Cantonese. So I could talk about anything or anyone, and no one understood us.
    Yeah and I know all the HK pop stars. Love J-Rock, esp. Gackt. For awhile was sick of American music (can't stand soul or rap), but now it's great, what with all the Indies and alternative music.

    As for looks, I felt insecure that I wasn't Chinese looking enough. People always assume I'm Japanese or Korean, they (including whites) never fail to have to tell me I don't look typically Chinese. What's typical looking I wonder?

    Friends: mainly Asian (all kinds) and whites.

    Wondering if there are a lot of Chinese like me. I think there should be.^_^

    Key is I never felt the need to prove to myself whether I was white or Chinese enough.
    I bet it helps to grow up idolizing your parents and cousins, thinking that they were the most beautiful Asians ever. Family influence and background is important I think.


  2. funny how the person above loves ticking all the right boxes and patting themselves on the shoulder. this is the problem with the chinese psychology. always wanting to be right.

    and that list of descriptions is a joke. why do you have to be any of those? just reeks of insecurity and east asian selfhate using the white mans own divide and conquer system to divide us even further against ourselves.

    just be yourself. proud to be Chinese/ East Asian. Full stop.

  3. these are not white on asian stereotypes though, these are asian on asian stereotypes, its an internal joke, you find it offensive as a chinese?

  4. @anonymous above. no i dont find it offensive, i just think east asians need to stop seeing differences in each other because thats what has held us back for so long. if you want to classify me im a FOBABEE whose skills as my native language is lacking but if you want to include me above my Chinese pride is probably right now stronger than 10 BBCS who can speak putonghua, cantonese, hakka and all the east asian languages under the sun but is a typical passive aggressive wimp who only looks out for no1 and wont speak up / care about the worldwide media / covert war injustice against chinese/east asians. for all i care those 10 may audition for that that DVD saleswoman role who gets fucked royally by the white bloke in east enders and share exotic chinese recipes and look down on their noses on the minorities over a glass of wine

  5. From reading several of your blog entries I find it a little strange that you are very concerned about political correctness, yet you insist on using such an outdated term for Asians. (AND you call yourself 'Zeitgeist!') It just doesn't add up.. Unless you're doing some form of satire on white people, though it's very unclear. I'm mostly just trying to understand, not trying to bash or judge.

    Maybe there's not as strong a cultural stigma to the word "orientals" outside of my bubble. Maybe the majority of people who make a fuss about it are Asian Americans. I personally do not take offense to the word Orientals, because I know that the people who've said it, in my personal experience, do not know any other way to classify us as it's what they've grown up saying. To them it's simply a way of classifying us. I never sensed any malice, and I suppose there's a lack of exposure to Asian-Americans. I'm trying to jog my memory but I can't remember hearing an Asian use the term in recent time, but I suspect if there had been that I let slip that they had to of been from the old generation, not my generation, and if they have children who were born here, well, then they probably were never taught to say otherwise, or have never gotten used to using the word Asians.

    Even if the word is basically incorrect; historically it has been the most general, safest, non-hateful way of addressing people of east asian descent -- that is, I mean, out of the sea of racial slurs people call us.
    I'll admit though that I pretty much used "orientals" as a way of calling asians until someone corrected me when I was about 10. Interestingly, I think that person may have been White. When I finally got used to addressing Asians as Asians It was then that I felt the need to correct my parents as they were the ones who taught me the word, but I don't blame them. "Asians" probably just didn't enter everyday vernacular until recently.

    I personally do not see it as a racial slur, but I do prefer "Asians" not just because it's the most socially accepted term, but because it's direct (we are people of that continent, truth), and neutral sounding (unlike orientals, it doesn't have quite as many old western associations attached such as beings of mystery: "mystical beings from the orient."). This is not to say that it doesn't shock me when I hear it, but I try to be open minded, as I am now.

  6. Maybe should use inverted commas - 'oriental' to emphasize 'figure of speech,' after all the subject is 'stereotypes.'

    It could be argued FOB is derogatory, created by westerners, yet FOB extended stereotypes in the article are appropriated by Asian's. Does that mean terms such as Fobulous shouldn't be used? There is even an Asian American film by that name.

    You are refering to my blog entry...

    "Are jewish men targeting asian oriental women?"

    If oriental is "Are Jewish men targeting Asian women?"

    'Asian women' works fine if its in the USA, however this is a UK blog, in the UK, the term 'Asian' generally does not refer to Chinese at all, the term has been hijacked and used almost exclusively by Indian sub-continent. Using 'Asian' on a British website would simply draw traffic from Indians, Pakistanis, not Chinese.

    University of London has the famous SOAS (school of Oriental and African studies), the university is completely free from accusations of being politically incorrect.

    Wing yip, the famous UK Chinese supermarket slogan is "chinese and oriental food made easy"

    Nor... "Are Jewish men targeting East Asian women?"

    Thai, Vietnamese, Filipina, Singaporean etc are South East Asian NOT East Asian. Malaysians and Singaporeans do not say "I'm of East Asian descent?" however they may say "I'm of Chinese descent." IMO, British Chinese have far more in common socially with S-E Asians than East Asians such as Japanese or Korean.

    'From the Far East?' is not really that different to 'from the orient.'

    What other term would you use to replace oriental without having a ridiculously long headline?

    What alternative is there?

    1. Singaporean is a nationality! Saying Singaporean Chinese are SEA is like saying BBC are European!

      On Orientals: I always use this word and nobody is offended. I have never seen it being used as a slur, except against Orientals who are too black (and therefore Americanised).

  7. Oriental is either a rug or a vase. It comes from the British terminology and now we are stuck with it. But because there are more Chinese in the UK out of the east asian ethnics we are Chinese, full stop.

    East asian is the one that includes all people from east asia including those from South east asia. Either way Chinese are the majority and the least screwed so we need to get our global together otherwise the whole of the East Asians are gonna get ching chong chicken fried rice gangster gayboys for your childrens childrens generation AD INFINATUM by the jealous imperialist racist media crybabies

  8. It seems strange to label South East Asians as East Asian in any other context other than in the field of arts. Pan-Asian is a better term, yet its not a widely used term in the UK.

    And no, in real life, ditto, I don't call myself oriental at all, nor East Asian nor Asian nor pan-Asian, only Chinese.

  9. Wow

    I take my hat off to you, I didn't know there were so many different Asian stereotypes